Too early to give up

3 November 2007
You know what? My French got A! That is amazing considering I did not study enough before the exam and I came late to the class on the exam day. However, I still managed to get an A. Oh la la. Probably, at this stage, it is too early to give up any dream I have because seemingly I still can achieve a lot.
Earlier today, while having lunch at Frankfurter, I read a "Soap" magazine (what a strange title for a magazine!). The magazine has two articles that keep me thinking at the moment.
The first one talks about the 7 sins of men’s financial management. One of the tips is that we should not work for money. Money should work for us instead. The writer says he finds many people trapped in their cubicles doing what they do not enjoy for the sake of money. He later says we should choose a job that we enjoy and then open a business based on what we love doing best.
The second one is an interview with Nicolas Saputra. Nico says at the moment after graduating from the University of Indonesia, he just wants to take things slowly and not rush to get a permanent job or a chosen career path. Instead, he believes it is the time to wait for the right things to happen as he often observes his friends who rush into things finally get trapped in uncomfortable work places and finally regret the decision.
At the same mall, last week, my cell group met. My friends encourage me to consider all the options that I have before deciding to quit from the Embassy. They argue, it is too quick to give up a job and I should make long term targets and not to follow my feeling at this moment. For me myself, working at the Embassy actually opens my eyes to the myriad of opportunities for business and career paths for a person with my qualification.
Doing what one loves best and taking time to reconsider all possible options are obviously two themes that divide my mind at this stage. I am torn between taking time and explore opportunities or immediately jump back to the thing that I believe I love best.
Well, no worries mate! Edi, my ex-cell group leader, gave me enlightenment. He did not talk a lot actually. He just listened and gave a simple answer, "I don’t know. What do you think?" I guessed by not offerring any suggestion, he gave me a chance to clarify my goals and motivation and thus making things clear for myself.
Eventhough I eventually decide to quit my job at the Embassy this year, probably, I haven’t given up anything anyway. Everything is still a part of my learning process, of experiencing and exploring all possibilities so eventually I can make up my mind. The road is very long and there are still unchartered regions in my map. Life is a hiking track. Like in any hiking track, sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes people get lost. Sometimes we want to end the track and just sit there untill the SAR team comes to the rescue. So is with this year. 2007 will probably come down in my memory as a year that I explored a lot, made wrong decisions, decided to take a pause, and eventually came to realise that it is too early to give up anything because despite the wrong turns and dead ends, there are still many avenues to explore.
Can you believe that? All happened just within one year? Will I live to regret the decisions I made this year? Probably so. Probably not. In just a year, things are getting clearer and an old prayer of mine is starting to be answered bit by bit. Lessons earned here will probably affect the rest of my life and the rest of my decision making process. But here and now, I share the conviction of the psalmist, "The Lord is my help. Who should I fear?"
And on a lighter note, after six long months, finallement je parle francais! Vous parlez francais aussi? Vous comprenez?