It has become my decision

21 June 2007
It’s been quite a while since I write anything on this blog. I was too busy probably taking care of the exam marks. Right now, I am supposed to be busy taking care of the syllabi for next term. However, as usual, I prefer to write something on the blog.
My blog at friendster has been experiencing some problems. I cannot put a comment on anyone’s blog. This is terrible. I love blogging because of the comments that I receive and give to others. Because of this problem, I have become demotivated to write an entry. Whenever I want to put a comment, there is always this pop-up saying that I have to sign in and debug because commenter name is undefined. If any of you can solve this particular problem, please contact me.
Another noteworthy event is finally my translation has been paid! Yipee! I immediately spent the money by buying a pair of Hush Puppies shoes that I have always wanted. :)) Moreover, I am going to be an interpreter for a writing workshop at OMF. This will also be a paid job, yipee!
Other than that, it has become my decision that I will leave my teaching career if I don’t get my PhD scholarship. At the moment I am applying for two scholarships: Fulbright and ADS. An ex-boss of mine also recommended trying the Endeavour awards, which I will probably try. I have also been offerred two full time teaching positions at UI and at Atma Jaya. These two places have given me some of the nicest teaching experiences in my entire career. Nevertheless, it has become apparent for me that there is no gain of continuing my career as a lecturer without a doctorate. My career will come to a stalemate and I don’t want that to happen. I also do not want to pursue a doctorate with my own money simply here in Indonesia because it is not worth the investment and hardwork, I think. Hehehehe
Then, there is one big question. What would I do next? I have written down the goals that I would like to achieve in my life. It is high time that I start to pursue my childhood dream. That is why I am forcing myself to learn French although the language is a complete nightmare!
By the end of this year, I will have a complete notification about the result of the Fulbright scholarship and I will have a notification whether I make it to the second round of ADS. If there is bad news from the two, then the English Department at UI will become just a memory for me.
Yesterday, Anne, a junior and fellow lecturer, told me that she had never found a work place better than the English Department–the positive atmosphere, the independence, the minimal control, the camaraderie, the support, and the list goes on. And she was correct.
However, the courage to move on with life and to step out of our comfort zone in order to pursue our dreams, I believe, are essential to achieve and experience something which can be as rewarding or even more rewarding than the experience of working and teaching at UI (Reward here does not imply money for no one can be a tycoon by teaching).
What if the dream turns out sour and bitter like my dream of UPH earlier? Well, you’ll never know until you try. I’d rather try and fail than never trying and thus failing. Nevertheless, I am confident that this is a right decision because success after success has been unfolded throughout my life time. Hahahaha (Overconfidence here).
No, no, no, I am confident because: "The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want." He creates us with a purpose and he will ensure that the purpose is accomplished though through a feeble and unworthy servant such as myself. Our goal should always be: "Glorificatio et manifestatio gratiae divinae." If you need translation here, please contact me.