Apakah Paulus Pencipta Iman Kristen?

Ya dan tidak. Begitu jawabannya.

Jika menciptakan berarti memberikan kontribusi pada pemahaman tentang iman Kristen dan mempengaruhi orang Kristen lainnya untuk berpikir serupa, ya. Paulus ikut menciptakan Kekristenan.

Jika menciptakan berarti melakukan fabrikasi atau pemalsuan dari ajaran asli iman Kristen, tidak. Paulus tidak melakukannya.

Saya ingin mengajukan tiga alasan mengapa Paulus memberikan kontribusi, bukan fabrikasi terhadap pembentukan iman Kristen.

Pertama, iman Kristen pertama-tama dipeluk oleh sekelompok orang Yahudi dari latar belakang sangat sederhana. Murid-murid Yesus yang pertama itu bukanlah orang yang makan bangku sekolahan. Mereka kebanyakan adalah nelayan yang paham ikan dan ombak, bukan filsafat dan teologi. Mereka berbahasa Ibrani dengan dialek Aram. Paulus-lah penganut iman Kristen awal yang berpendidikan baik. Ia murid Gamaliel, seorang guru agama Yahudi terkemuka. Dia lahir di wilayah Kekaisaran Romawi sehingga mahir berbahasa Yunani. Penting untuk dicatat bahwa semua isi Perjanjian Baru (Kitab Suci Kristen yang ditulis setelah Yesus lahir) tertulis dalam Bahasa Yunani. Dapat dibayangkan kalau kita perbandingkan tulisan-tulisan Paulus dengan tulisan para murid Yesus, jelaslah tulisan Paulus akan lebih mudah dipahami dan lebih masuk akal. Dia dapat dianggap sebagai jurubicara pertama iman Kristen yang becus melakukan tugasnya.

Saya ingin menggaris bawahi bahwa Paulus dapat dianggap sebagai jurubicara pertama. Dia mengemukakan apa yang menjadi isi hati, pemikiran, dan kepercayaan umat Kristen mula-mula dengan bahasa yang logis dan dapat dipahami oleh orang-orang Yunani kuno yang sudah sedemikian maju logika dan peradabannya. Ada satu tulisan Paulus sebagaimana tercantum di Surat Kiriman Paulus yang Pertama kepada Timotius, muridnya, (I Timotius, singkatnya, kalau ingin cari di Perjanjian Baru) yang berisi kutipan dari sebuah lagu Kristen yang awal sekali. Bunyinya begini:

“Dia (Yesus), yang telah menyatakan diriNya dalam rupa manusia,

Dibenarkan dalam Roh;

yang menampakkan diriNya kepada malaikat-malaikat,

diberitakan di antara bangsa-bangsa yang tidak mengenal Allah;

yang dipercayai di dalam dunia,

diangkat dalam kemuliaan.”

Lagu ini secara hakiki merangkum isi kepercayaan Kristen yang sampai sekarang pun dikhotbahkan di gereja-gereja. Yesus mengambil rupa manusia walaupun dia sendiri adalah Roh Allah dan diangkat dalam kemuliaan ke Sorga. Dan Paulus mengutipnya. Ini berarti ada orang lain lagi sebelum Paulus yang menuliskannya. Paulus tidak menciptakan inti hakiki iman Kristen. Dia meneruskan dan mengomunikasikannya. Tidak heran tentunya, karena Paulus adalah komunikator pertama iman Kristen yang cakap, banyak orang Kristen selanjutnya dipengaruhi oleh cara tulis, cara pikir, dan cara tafsir Paulus akan beragam pokok iman Kristen.

Kedua, Paulus jelas pula bukan yang pertama-tama mengaku Yesus adalah Tuhan. Ada anggapan yang luas beredar bahwa Yesus tidak pernah mengklaim dirinya sebagai Tuhan. Klaim Yesus adalah Tuhan buatan Paulus, kata mereka. Saya sangat menyarankan orang-orang seperti itu untuk membaca Kitab Injil menurut penuturan Yohanes. Yohanes adalah salah satu murid yang paling dekat dengan Yesus dan dia punya catatan yang sangat intim tentang perkataan-perkataan Yesus. Yesus pernah bilang begini, “Aku dan Bapa adalah satu” (Yohanes 10:30). Yesus menyebut Tuhan Allah dengan sapaan yang sangat akrab, Bapa. Dengan mengatakan dirinya dan Tuhan Allah adalah satu, dia menyamakan dirinya dengan Tuhan Allah. Yohanes kemudian mencatat orang-orang Yahudi mengambil batu untuk melempari Yesus karena dengan jelas ia mengklaim dirinya sebagai Tuhan. Ini adalah dosa besar. Orang semacam ini yang menyekutukan Tuhan Allah dengan dirinya sendiri layak mati menurut hukum agama Yahudi dengan cara dilontari batu.

Kemudian hari, seorang murid pertama Yesus lainnya yang bernama Tomas berkata kepada Yesus, “Ya Tuhanku dan Allahku.” Yesus kemudian menjawab pengakuan Tomas, “Karena engkau telah melihat Aku, maka engkau percaya. Berbahagialah mereka yang tidak melihat, namun percaya” (Yohanes 20:28-29).  Yesus dengan gembira menyambut pengakuan orang bahwa dia adalah Tuhan dan Allah. Jadi Yesus mengklaim dirinya sebagai Tuhan, maka tidak heran murid-muridnya mengakui dia sebagai Tuhan juga.

Ketiga, iman Kristen sejak awal sekali adalah konstruksi dan kompromi dari begitu banyak pemimpin gereja. Kitab Kisah Para Rasul di Perjanjian Baru adalah catatan historis dari perspektif iman Kristen tentang sejarah gereja mula-mula sepeninggal Yesus. Di situ dicatat para murid pertama Yesus dengan pemimpin gereja selanjutnya berkali-kali bersidang membuat keputusan tentang apa yang boleh dan tidak boleh dilakukan dan dipercayai gereja. Di salah satu sidang yang agak kemudian barulah Paulus muncul bertemu dengan pemimpin gereja mula-mula di kota Yerusalem. Pokok persidangan itu adalah bagaimanakah gereja seharusnya menerima orang-orang Kristen dari latar belakang bukan Yahudi. Di masa itu orang-orang Kristen masih didominasi orang beretnis Yahudi, baru kemudian karena peran Paulus, ada banyak orang Kristen beretnis Yunani. Paulus berargumen, senada dengan Petrus (murid Yesus yang paling terkemuka) bahwa orang-orang Yunani jika masuk Kristen tidak perlu mengadopsi budaya Yahudi (Kisah Para Rasul 15). Kemudian hari gereja terus bersidang. Pada sidang tahun 393 M di kota Hippo di Afrika Utara barulah diputuskan daftar resmi tulisan-tulisan yang dimasukkan ke dalam kitab suci orang Kristen (Alkitab). Termasuk dalam daftar itu adalah sejumlah tulisan Paulus dalam bentuk surat-surat kirimannya kepada jemaat dan orang tertentu. Tidak semua surat dan tulisan Paulus masuk dalam daftar itu. Tidak semuanya sebagus itu dan tidak semuanya memiliki isi yang layak dianggap sebagai kitab suci. Sidang-sidang itulah yang menentukan ajaran iman Kristen. Sidang yang paling besar dalam ingatan modern adalah Konsili Vatikan yang Kedua yang berakhir tahun 1962. Dalam sidang itu ada re-orientasi besar-besaran dalam ajaran Gereja Katolik Roma, misalnya, dalam hal mereka memandang hubungan dengan agama-agama lain dan dalam merayakan ibadah mereka.

Jadi iman Kristen jelas buatan manusia, kan? Ya, saya tidak menyangkalnya. Ada campur tangan manusia yang kuat dalam menentukan isi iman tersebut. Namun, bagi orang Kristen, sidang seperti itu adalah tanda bahwa Roh Allah menuntun gereja melalui para pemimpin yang menerima ilham ilahi. Bagi yang non-Kristen, itu barangkali tanda bahwa sedang terjadi fabrikasi atas isi iman Kristen, suatu revisi buatan manusia akan wahyu Tuhan yang pertama-tama turun di antara orang Yahudi. Saya tidak tersinggung dengan pernyataan seperti itu. Benar bahwa iman Kristen toh adalah sebuah reaksi terhadap iman Yahudi yang dianggap menyeleweng dari inti ajarannya pada saat itu.

Saya malah lebih tersinggung kalau ada yang bilang iman Kristen itu aslinya turun bulat-bulat dari langit tanpa ada campur tangan manusia. Yang beriman dan beragama toh manusia. Kalau suatu agama tidak dibahasakan dan dirangkai dengan logika manusia, pertimbangan manusia, dan peran serta manusia, itu berarti sang ‘Tuhan’ memaksakan kehendaknya dan cara pikirnya kepada manusia. ‘Tuhan’ semacam itu bak diktator yang terlalu kaku dan keras bagi saya. Sebaliknya iman Kristen telah menjadi iman manusia justru karena dipertimbangkan, diperdebatkan, disetujui oleh manusia yang bersidang. Iman Kristen memandang tindakan manusiawi itu juga adalah tindakan ilahi karena Roh Allah ikut membimbing percakapan dalam sidang tersebut. Dan lebih penting lagi, Yesus, yang bagi iman Kristen adalah Tuhan, juga diakui sebagai manusia seutuhnya. Dengan demikian, tindakan ilahi tidak selalu berbeda dengan tindakan manusiawi, dan tindakan manusiawi tidak selalu berbeda dengan tindakan ilahi.

Jadi Paulus memang punya andil yang besar dalam menentukan arah iman Kristen karena dialah jurubicara pertamanya, karena tulisannya masuk dalam daftar kitab suci Kristen, dan karena dia menyebarkan iman itu kepada bangsa-bangsa bukan Yahudi. Apakah dia seorang diri membuat iman Kristen dan memalsukan isi ajarannya? Tidak. Ada banyak orang lainnya yang hidup sejaman dan/atau setelah Paulus yang menentukan isi iman Kristen, termasuk tentunya Yesus sendiri.

For fanaticism is nothing but over-compensated doubt

The title of this entry is a quote from Jung, which I found while reading Stott's Everyday with the Bible. Stott was examining the repentance of Saul, the arch-enemy of the young church. A zealous Jew, Saul was determined to exterminate the church--a deviant sect following (and worshipping!) Jesus of Nazareth.
How can this Saul turned so drastically from wanting to kill every Christian to wanting to convert everyone to Christianity in the person of Paul? Well, perhaps, Saul was very doubtful about his faith and religion, deep down in his heart. That's why he was compensating it with finding an enemy so that by defeating the enemy, his faith and religion looked right in his perspective.
I think I see this kind of over-compensation among many people nowadays. Their interpretation of their faith, or whatever ideology they holding to, has never been shaken. Once they hear news about people criticizing or doubting their faith, they try to defy the criticism by building a fanatical attitude towards their 'correct' interpretation and shun all the others.  Any attempt to shake their interpretation will be met with hostile attitude.
Luckily, many years ago, my interpretation on my faith was tremendously shaken. It was not done by any of the liberal scholar you met at the Jakarta Theological Seminary. I was already 'prepared' and immunized myself from such notable person(s). I just listened to whatever he or she had to say and did not bother to contemplate on it. It was the words of the evangelical Rev Yonky Karman that shook my faith to its very core. Pak Yonky was examining the types of errors in the Bible. It was really an eye-opener. I had previously heard about errors in the Bible, but not explained in clear words and in detail to my very own eyes and ears. It took a couple of months of re-examining what it meant to be Christian and Bible-believing. However, it was a necessary step for theological and spiritual enlightenment and good riddance of fanatical views in me.
I wish all people had that experience--being shaken to their very core. By systematically doubting our own values, principles, and faith, we actually can grow stronger in them without having to resort to that over-compensation called fanaticism. And of course to be able to systematically doubt and evaluate our primordial trappings, we must nurture the critical thinking faculties in our brain. Unfortunately, the nurturing of critical thinking is severely lacking in this republic. At the post-graduate level, I find my students unable to evaluate (or even worse, understand) the information given to them.
I dream of the day when I can do more to train critical thinking among the future generation, not so that they become doubtful about their faith and values, but so that they are able to appreciate their faith and values in a balanced manner and openly embrace differences of views. Hence, we won't have fanatical Sauls anymore. We'll have more intellectually robust and spiritually enlightened Pauls.

(More than) a year since finishing my PhD

It is now more than a year since my PhD graduation took place. Has life been as good as I wanted it to be? Have missed opportunities by taking the decisions I made?
The honest answer is no. I am always harsh on myself so I tend not to appreciate my life achievements thus far.
So I'd like to count my blessings.
1. For a finished PhD.
2. For publication awards.
3. For my peer-reviewed publications (and the offer to contribute to publications)
4. For slow-paced life here in Jakarta
5. For leaving Sunshine Coast
6. For many job offers
7. For invitation to Adelaide (refused) and Kuala Lumpur (accepted)
8. For doing nothing at church
9. For mid-day naps
10. For people I can talk to through Whatsapp
11. For the money coming in
12. For winning the Outstanding Doctoral Thesis Award from QUT
13. For winning the IEAA Outstanding Post-graduate Thesis Award
14. For being able to resign from bad offices
15. For being able to see again the open opportunities
16. For believing that this life can make a difference and the courage to make it happen
17. For Jesus Christ whose example is to be followed and whose glory we work for
So there are quite a lot of things to be grateful for. When I forget about these great things, I need to look at this trophy sitting on my work desk. It reads: This award is presented to Agustian Sutrisno in recognition of outstanding contribution to knowledge and excellence in higher degree research. That's enough reason to press on and move forward.

On leaving Brisbane

This is an entry from February 5, 2014. It was the entry 'protested' by Josephine. However, this was the most apt description and reflection of the Brisbane and PhD experience.

For the last 3.5 years, my complaint is the same: I hate Brisbane and I can’t wait to leave it for good.

Now the day has been set for my permanent departure from Brisbane. I am happy that I will leave Brisbane, but I am not very happy that this departure does not take me back to Jakarta (yet).

When I left Jakarta on 30 June 2010, I was kind of relieved. My Jakarta house was crowded as my niece who was barely 1 year old stayed with us along with her parents. My parents took the room next to mine. It was chaos for me. I lost my privacy and quietness. I was also disturbed with the constant reminder of the need to get married. I was not really up for it back then.

When I arrived in Brisbane, I was immediately disappointed. It was just too village-like compared to Jakarta. The only consolation was that at that time I thought QUT was a good place to do the PhD and I lived at a nice and quiet house in Alderley. I also had a stable church community at Emmanuel UC.

As the days turned and the years passed in Brisbane, I grew more disappointed with QUT (to the point of no return to loving it anymore) and had to move several houses around the city. There were the days when this PhD seemed doomed and I totally could not understand why I had to endure 9 months of just revising a chapter (and eventually wrote the next two chapters in just one month only to achieve the same praise from my final seminar panel). In that way, Brisbane has been deeply linked to the pain of my PhD and the solitary journey of writing endless versions of the same chapter. I hate Brisbane as I hate my PhD and the university.

The permanent and consoling parts of life in Brisbane were my Alderley land lady who saved me from many troubles, the Emmanuel UC community where I drew strength to keep on moving, and the B 333 office where I spent countless hours of working (and chatting with best friends across the globe—they are my true saviours from deep depression).

These three constant elements of life for the last 3.5 years in Brisbane are starting to disappear. My office has been no longer mine since the last two weeks—I was kicked out after a week of submitting my thesis to external examiners. I had coffee with my PhD friends to mark the end of my office days at QUT. I said my farewell to my Alderley land lady last Sunday—believing that we’ll be in touch and meet again someday. I am going to let go the church community on Saturday just minutes before I depart for Sunshine Coast.

Will I enjoy life up the Coast? Will I loathe it with the same vehemence as Brisbane? Will I find those constant and consoling life elements there? I truly can’t tell. What I do know is that I am glad that one chapter of life in Brisbane is coming to a close and that a new one is all for me to write over.

I remember one particularly dark night when I was in a car with my Alderley land lady travelling from Indooroopilly back to Alderley on the first month of living in Brisbane. I thought I was in the middle of nowhere and how strange and rural Queensland seemed to me. It suddenly reminded me of the hymn, ‘Wat de toekomst brengen moge’ or ‘Tersembunyi ujung jalan’. You can find the lyrics in one of my earlier notes.

Now as I leave for Sunshine Coast and reflect back on life in Brisbane, I have found this other one to help me appreciate life in Brisbane no matter how bitter it was and to put my faith in God for the life in Sunshine Coast no matter how it turns out. Both the English and Indonesian versions are translation from Rodigast’s German lyrics.

1. What God ordains is always good;
His will abideth holy.
As He directs my life for me,
I follow meek and lowly.
God indeed in every need
Doth well know how to shield me;
To Him, then, I will yield me.

1. Yang diperbuat Allahku, kebaikan semuanya. RancanganNya tetap teguh; ‘ku berserah padaNya. Tuhankulah selamanya yang ingin kuandalkan: padaNya aku aman.       
2. What God ordains is always good.
He never will deceive me;
He leads me in His own right way,
And never will He leave me.
I take content What He hath sent;
His hand that sends me sadness
Will turn my tears to gladness.

2. Yang diperbuat Allahku tak usah kuragukan dan jalan lurus kutempuh berkat pimpinan Tuhan. Anugerah dan kasihNya pedoman di bahaya: hidupku di tanganNya.
                 
3. What God ordains is always good.
His loving thought attends me;
No poison can be in the cup
That my Physician sends me.
My God is true; Each morn anew
I'll trust His grace unending,
My life to Him commending.

3. Yang diperbuat Allahku dengan pengasuhanNya membuat jiwaku sembuh: tepat pengobatanNya. Mujarablah nasihatNya: aku percaya Dia, Tabibku yang setia.
             
4. What God ordains is always good.
He is my Friend and Father;
He suffers naught to do me harm,
Though many storms may gather.
Now I may know Both joy and woe,
Some day I shall see clearly
That He hath loved me dearly.

4. Yang diperbuat Allahku tak sungkan kuterima; tetap di marabaya pun Terang hidupku Dia. Di waktuNya ternyatalah betapa mengagumkan tujuan kasih Tuhan.
                  
5. What God ordains is always good.
Though I the cup am drinking
Which savors now of bitterness,
I take it without shrinking.
For after grief God grants relief,
My heart with comfort filling
And all my sorrow stilling.

5. Yang diperbuat Allahku mengubah kepahitan, sehingga cawan duka pun mengandung kemanisan dan akhirnya bahagia mengisi lubuk hati; resah pun tiada lagi.
                
6. What God ordains is always good.
This truth remains unshaken.
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
I shall not be forsaken.
I fear no harm, For with His arm
He shall embrace and shield me;
So to my God I yield me.

6. Yang diperbuat Allahku peganganku abadi; bencana, maut, kemelut tak risau kuhadapi: terasalah rangkulanNya tempat hatiku aman, kuasaNya kuandalkan.

A more modern rendition in English can be heard here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyoIPjE6dMM

Random Thought(s) -- 1

This is an entry in my Facebook notes, dated January 26, 2012.
It was the second year of my PhD journey. I never had the chance to write the random thought anymore. I did finish this conference abstract and ended up presenting it in Hobart and winning high commendation for the presentation. The working life needs a break from time to time.

I come to the realisation that I am an amazingly conservative person, as in the word “to conserve”, not as in the synonym of “fundamentalist”. As I moved out from the “monastic life” of Alderley to this newer place in Kelvin Grove next to two major roads, across a supermarket, I felt I love the deadly quiet hill-top Alderley. That’s the surface sy...mptom. Underneath, I just hate accepting new things and adapting to new circumstances. I love to conserve what was there, rather than embracing something new. That’s why I hate Brisbane and I love Sydney. That’s why I hate my last job more than I hate the previous one. That’s simply because I am conservative. Well, it’s just a random thought in the midst of the laziness in finishing a conference abstract. I think when I get stuck or lazy again, I'll do this random thought thing

Wat de toekomst brengen moge

This is an entry from August 8, 2010 in my Facebook notes. This was one of the first days in Brisbane, one of thousands of days. It was bitterly painful. I still remember the night very clearly. It was a winter night. Julia drove me to watch an Indian dancing recital in the southern side of the river. It was miles away and the night was dark, very dark. There would be more dark nights in Brisbane. That was the first time I was aware of how 'village-like' Brisbane was and how life would be very different from Jakarta and Sydney. This kind of faith helped me to survive Brisbane and the PhD. I am still reeling from the experience.

Wat de toekomst brengen moge,
Mij geleidt des Heeren hand;
moedig sla ik dus de oogen
naar het onbekende land.
Leer mij volgen zonder vragen;
Vader, wat Gij doet is goed!
Leer mij slechts het heden dragen
met een rustig kalmen moed! ...

What the future yet may bring me
I am led by God’s own hand.
Full of hope I look with longing
To that future’s unknown land.
Teach me following without asking
Father, what you do is good
Help me my own load to carry
In a quiet, restful mood.

Tersembunyi ujung jalan,
hampir atau masih jauh;
'ku dibimbing tangan Tuhan
ke neg'ri yang tak ku tau.
Bapa ajar aku ikut,
apa juga makudMu,
tak bersangsi atau takut,
beriman tetap teguh.


Heer, ik wil Uw liefde loven,
al begrijpt mijn ziel U niet.
Zalig hij, die durft gelooven,
ook wanneer het oog niet ziet.
Schijnen mij Uw wegen duister,
zie, ik vraag U niet: waarom?
Eenmaal zie ik al Uw luister,
als ik in Uw hemel kom!

For your love we long to praise You
While it’s hard to comprehend
Blessed are those who dare to trust You
When their eyes of faith grow dim.
When our paths appear so darkened
Then we do not ask You why?
One day we with wisdom sharpened
In Your heaven will arrive.

Meski langkahMu semua
tersembunyi bagiku,
hatiku menurut jua
dan memuji kasihMu.
Meski kini tak 'ku nampak,
nanti 'ku berbahagia,
apabila t'rangMu nampak
dengan kemuliaannya.


Laat mij niet mijn lot beslissen:
zoo ik mocht, ik durfde niet.
Ach, hoe zou ik mij vergissen,
Als Gij mij de keuze liet!
Wil mij als een kind behand’len,
dat alleen den weg niet vindt:
neem mijn hand in Uwe handen
en geleid mij als een kind
My life’s purpose You direct Lord
If I could, I would not dare
I would, no doubt, choose the wrong Lord
If that choice were in my care.
As your child I need your nurture
On my own I’d loose the way.
Take my hand into your hand
Lest in sin I go astray!

Tuhan, janganlah biarkan
kutentukan nasibku.
B'rilah hanya kudengarkan
keputusan hikmatMu.
Aku ini pun selaku
kanak-kanak yang bebal.
Bapa jua bimbing aku
ke kehidupan kekal.


Waar de weg mij brengen moge,
aan des Vaders trouwe hand
loop ik met gesloten oogen
naar het onbekende land.

Where the road may take me,
with faithful hand of the Father
I walk with eyes closed
to the unknown land.

Dengan Bapa aku maju
dalam malam yang kelam
ke neg'ri yang tak kutahu
dengan mata terpejam...

Lagu tiga bahasa ini pertama kali didengar waktu hari-hari terakhir sekolah di SMUK 3, sekolah yang susahnya setengah mati. Dengan kerja keras yang betul-betul keras, akhirnya bisa juga dapet ranking 1 di kelas 3 IPS 4. Masih ingat betul Minggu itu yang khotbah Pdt. Untung Ongkowijoyo dan khotbahnya memusingkan-gak jelas. Tapi lagu yang dipilihnya ini sangat indah. Saat itu kepala juga sedang pusing, gak tahu mau masuk kuliah jurusan apa dan akan akhirnya jadi apa. Kalau tahu pada saat itu bahwa akhirnya akan kerja di Embassy terus ke UNESCO, atau kalau tahu bahwa akan kuliah di UI, terus dapet beasiswa ke UNSW dan QUT, tentu tidak akan bingung atau takut atau ragu. Tapi waktu itu, sangat bingung dan gak tau mesti ngapain. Stanza terakhir dari lagu ini dalam bahasa Indonesia sangat menyentuh hati, "Dengan Bapa aku maju...dengan mata terpejam." Saat ini ketika rasanya juga bingung dan ragu, lagu ini kembali menyapa dan mengingatkan, kalau ada Bapa di samping, maka ke malam yang lebih kelam dari malam winter kota Brisbane dan ke negeri yang lebih asing dari Queensland, saya boleh percaya begitu rupa, sampai dengan mata yang ditutup sekalipun, saya bisa melangkah ke depan.

How firm a foundation

This was a Facebook note entry in December 10, 2010. I am in some way still missing the chance to preach, but perhaps it is now better I dedicate myself to writing for scientific publications.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?
...

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Baru ketemu lagu ini lagi di Youtube. Pertama kali didenger di St Andrew's, Sydney. Bagusnya lagu ini adalah pertentangan antara ketakutan manusia dan jaminan yang diberikan Tuhan dalam syairnya. Di bait pertama, kadang kita takut bahwa Tuhan tidak pernah menjanjikan hal yang baik sehingga kita bertanya-tanya, "Tuhan punya janji apa sih buat saya?" Si penulis syair nyatakan bahwa Tuhan sudah mengatakan semua yang perlu dikatakan. Tinggal kita ingat-ingat dan baca lagi di Alkitab.
Di bait kedua, kita kadang-kadang takut bahwa kita tidak cukup kuat untuk berdiri sendiri dan kalau sampai jatuh kita bertanya, "Siapa yang akan menolong saya?" Si penulis menjawab, atas nama Tuhan, "Aku sendiri akan menolong kamu dengan tangan kananKu." Tangan kanan, tangan yang paling kuat dan lambang kemuliaan. Kalau sudah tangan kanan yang turun, apa lagi yang perlu dikuatirkan?
Di bait ketiga, kita merasa takut menghadapi pencobaan, "Jangan-jangan saya akan hangus terbakar api pencobaan." Sang penulis kembali lagi berbicara mewakili Tuhan, "Api itu tidak akan menyakiti. Api itu adalah api ujian yang akan memurnikan engkau seperti emas. Kasih karuniaKu sudah cukup." Yang bagi kita kelihatan seperti api cobaan ternyata bagi Allah sekedar ujian yang akan membuat kita naik kelas. Siapa yang gak senang naik kelas? Apalagi kalau ujiannya disertai kasih karunia Tuhan.
Di bait terakhir, ada ketakutan terakhir tiap manusia, takut akan kematian. Namun kalau jiwanya sudah disandarkan kepada Yesus untuk beristirahat, maka menurut sang penulis, TIDAK PERLU ADA KETAKUTAN. Penulis mengulangi frasa "will not" dua kali dan kata "never" sampai tiga kali. Sang penulis kembali lagi berkata-kata atas nama Tuhannya, "Biarpun seluruh neraka berupaya menggoncang, Aku tidak akan pernah melupakannya." Di bait terakhir ini, si penulis kelihatan agak berlebihan, sepertinya ngotot sekali untuk bilang, "Jangan takut!" Namun memang itulah pesan utama syair ini.

Setelah menulis refleksi ini jadi inget kelas Pengkajian Puisi Bu Grace Wiradisastra di Selasa pagi yang selalu mengantukkan, tapi memberi bekal menafsir puisi, yang kemudian hari jadi bekal yang baik untuk menafsir Alkitab di STTJ. Persis seperti kata penulis syair tentang pencobaan/ujian yang akhirnya membuat kita lebih baik.  Jadi inget juga akan hari-hari berkhotbah di English Fellowship GKI Samanhudi, dan menantikan saatnya untuk kembali khotbah di depan para pendengar lansia dan  berbicara tentang, "The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to its foes." 

Now the last post was six years ago

The last post on this blog was six years ago. My life of course has changed dramatically since then. I have completed two post-graduate degrees, won many awards, had numerous publications. Simultaneously, there have been many disappointments on how the life turned. Some entries in my Facebook notes I suppose captured some critical moments in life and how I reflected on those moments.
The question is course why I revisit this blog. In many ways the blog has captured the struggles that I had so many years back. When I read the entries, I found a strange version of my younger self crystalized in the blog entries. I hope by being active again in writing this blog, I will be able to charter my life's trajectory better, and will have the chance to reflect back to how I have lived my life. Since it has been inactive for many years, I believe almost no one will follow the blog, which is great. I am free to express what I feel and view.

A full life or an empty life?

Yesterday Vuji came up with a question, "What if after taking so much time to minister to other people and to live a life of integrity and believing in the saviour, we still find that our life is empty?" I guess that's the feeling of many people. They have believed in the saving power of God, have become committed members of the church and have lived such virtuous lives. But deep down in their hearts, there is still something missing. What went wrong?
I tried to give some practical suggestions to Vuji, ranging from getting busy with activities, setting up short-term and long-term goals, even getting married. However, those are , somehow, only a diversion. The emptiness is still there.
I promised him that I will try to find out what went wrong and what can be fixed and I will start with interviewing some people at different stages of life.
He also asked one important question. What does it mean when Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full"? I was silenced as I also do not really know what it means. Therefore, at my spare time, if any could be found, this week, I will try to answer these questions.
So are you living a full life or an empty life?

After being absent for half a year

I haven't written anything on my blog for more than half a year. The last entry seems so sad and blue. Well, now I'm not so desperate and lost, but still lost and desperate.
Life has gone to a different direction since January. Now, having been at UNESCO for nearly four months, I have decided not to pursue further career in these international organizations. After having a stint of struggle on the pastoral calling, I have also decided not to be a full-time minister. Looking back at my entries since 2006, I cannot keep myself away from a sense of wonder at how things have changed since then and how things remain the same up to now.
I notice even more at how I have aged and grown in maturity in looking at the same matters with different perspectives.
I still enjoy my seminary and I am grateful for the opportunity to study there and I am still very keen on pursuing my PhD. But if the good Lord opens a different gate, I want to go there as well.

Lost and Desperate

3 January 2009
What if you feel that you are a failure rather than a success? That’s exactly my state of mind at the end of 2008.
Earlier this year, I felt I have accomplished quite a lot. I have had my articles published by the Jakarta Post. I have had an article published in an academic journal. I delivered a presentation for a scientific conference. I managed to keep my promise to myself to keep my job for at least a year and I have been able to withstand the stress of juggling between my studies and my work. I have a perfect GPA for my first trimester at the Seminary. I managed to get a one point increase in my pay point grade. I felt happy about my cell-group, and having compared it with the other cell-group in the church, I was pretty sure I had a really nice cell-group with more variety of delivery methods. I felt I was already a very senior person at LBI, having been teaching for five years and knowing everything one needs to know about teaching IELTS and TOEFL and acquired respect from my students and colleagues, as well. I was very happy that finally the MOU between Indonesia and Australia in Education and Training was signed by the ministers and that was a hallmark in my career. I was very happy to be in Sydney and Canberra last month and meeting important people in the politics and education, but also a couple of valuable friends from my past. I had two books published this year as well and had translated in whole or in parts five books this year.
But towards the end of the year, I felt I was more of a failure than a success. I have managed to accomplish those things in my professional life, but have failed in major events for my own personal life. Ryan, a good friend from UI years, was probably correct when he said that my life had eventually fallen to the worship of Mamon and how would I know later that one would love me because of what I have rather than who I am. Probably Ryan put the right priorities all along, while I was mocking his lack of enthusiasm for achieving greater heights and better career all the time. While I was busy hopping from one job to another and from one country to another, Ryan was faithfully executing his job as a translator with meagre salary before eventually passing the sworn translator exam and being promoted to the rank of coordinator in the same office, which he has served since 2003. While I was trying not to be attached to anyone and avoiding commitments, Ryan was dating this same girl since 2003 and learned what it meant to have solid commitments not just professionally but personally also. What if I had followed Ryan’s footsteps instead of my ambitions? Gee, I don’t know.
Ah, doesn’t that remind you of Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. Now I cannot conclude toghether with Frost yet, that the small road one chooses although a quiet one was actually more rewarding than the big road that everyone else chooses. I still don’t know whether the road I have taken will be a good one yet. At this point, I believe I am not in a very cheerful disposition when talking about my life and its future direction. I’m officially in the state of analysis paralysis. I don’t really know what to do next and what kind of job should I hunt for next. That’s a bit sad considering the fact I was so full of ideas earlier this year about where my life will be going. Now, seemingly I am lost amidst all of my ideas.
When one is lost, the best thing to do is to find a map or a guide. At this Christmas season, I hope the gifts for me will be a map and a guide.
On a lighter note, actually, there is no lighter note. I have had a terrible Sunday as a liturgist. One of my own personal worst performance as a liturgist. I couldn’t believe how bad I was. I didn’t even have the courage to look at the people. Probably, the time has come to pass on the baton to someone younger.
I have also lost the joy of shopping as well. After getting rid about a dozen of my old clothes due to the arrival of four pieces of new clotes that I recently bought, I just realized that I have been such a big spender for useless things. I should learn to be more stringent on my budget. Well, actually if you know the measures I take to save my money, you will wonder what else could I possibly save. I am also feeling very bored; just couldn’t muster the will to do my papers or my translation project. Well, I’d better stop writing; otherwise I will make all of you desperate as well.

On the way home from Canberra

21 November 2008
O Canberra, that lonely town between the hills!
Strangely, this is the only city in Australia that I visited three times. The first one was just a short stop-over from my way back from the Snowy Mountains to Sydney. The second one was a special trip to have a look around the famous Floriade, when the city is full of tulips. The third one was just two weeks ago, for an official trip with the ministerial delegation. I just noticed as well that in my Friendster, there are actually more pictures of Canberra than Sydney. This is indeed strange, particularly that I don’t love the city at all. I hate that ‘only lighted cemetary in the world’ as one magazine puts it. It’s so quite and so far away from all the interesting places in Australia.
I cherish the opportunity of meeting Henry back on Willis Street and meeting Katrin and Lia on that Vietnamese Restaurant on Anzac Parade. It’s good to meet people from your past and see where they are at now. Had a fantastic time during my evenings in Canberra due to Milda. Funny that we never met in Jakarta despite teaching at the same University, but I always meet her in Australia. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same thing about my afternoons and mornings in Canberra.
My way home from Canberra to Jakarta took 18 hours of my time. It started at 9.25 in Canberra International Airport (I do wonder how can an airport that does not have a direct flight to international destinations be called an international airport and considering the fact that terminal Blok M is bigger than the Airport building). Two hours later I was in Brisbane Domestic Airport. I just realised that there are two airports in Brisbane. So I rushed to the International Airport and ended up being the first person to queue for the QF 51 flight to Singapore. Eight hours later, I was rushing through terminal 1 in Changi, trying to find gate 20 in terminal 2, and ended up as one of the first ones there. These prove that I am always on time. Hahahaha. Then I had a lovely flight back home with Singapore Airlines. After taking Qantas for the last 4 flights, flying Singapore Airlinies is like showing up in heaven.
The hours spent on flying gave time to reflect and contemplate. I suppose I have had enough of this chapter of my life dealing with the delicacies of bilateral relations. I am keen to find other opportunities and probably be very happy to return to lecturing. Seemingly, I have always been in the right place without realising that it’s actually the right place. (I am talking about lecturing here).
About life in general? Not very happy, but still can be thankful.
About failing to get the scholarship? Now not the right time probably. Someday in God’s perfect timing, I’ll get it. See, I have a faith in God that withstood failures and disappointments. (Nothing to boast though. I don’t have enough failures and disappointments as those in the Bible and do really hope that I don’t have to face their failures and disappointments). Edi told me that it is good that I failed winning the scholarship. That gives me a lesson about failures, not just successes. Well, believe me, Edi, I had my shares of failures as well before this one.
About seminary? Thank goodness, the second trimester has ended. I couldn’t manage my time due to excessive travelling. Had a lovely time, though, with Romo Mardi, Rev Hakh and Rev Hamakonda. I now have so many goals for the church and my ministry. Just pray that I’ll have the time and energy to pursue them.
About books? Had enough, had enough of translating. So glad that my translation on Missiology will be launched formally tomorrow. Sad that I couldn’t make it due to my teaching commitments in LBI. I should give up teaching on Saturdays strating next semester.
About driving? Not so much progress. I have to spend more time driving.
About God? The Lord is my breastplate and sword for the fight. Naught be all else to me save that Thou Art.

Nine years on

17 September 2008
I have had my driving license for nine years. Miserably, I still have problems driving my car. I could buy the car, but I can’t really drive it. Well, not that I cannot drive it, I just can’t park it :D. That is even more hilarious probably.
I have noticed that in my entire history, I have been avoiding challenges about my skills. For instance, since I felt I was not really good in riding a bicycle, I decided not to ride a bicycle at all. There was nothing to lose. There were people that I could rely on to take me to different far-away places. When I felt swimming was difficult, I stopped swimming altogether. Finally, since math caused so much stress, I decided to study literature. I have been trying to protect my self esteem by avoiding difficult things that will make me look ridiculous in front of other people. This pattern of behavior has done me bad than good.
If you learn the Goal Setting Theory from Locke and Latham, you know that what I have been doing is called lowering the expectation. I decided to lower my expectation and eventually avoiding the goal at all. I seriously think I cannot do this any longer. Having forced myself to live alone in Sydney and doing all sorts of things as an individual, I suppose forcing myself to learn to drive and park a car is just a piece of cake. Well, the reality seemingly says the opposite.
Now I languish on forcing myself to drive the car as it is totally ridiculous to have a car but not to drive it. But this harsh act on my self-confidence and self-image, I believe is good for myself. Moreover, I must set a goal to achieve. I must say to myself by early next year, I will be able to drive on my own. We’ll think about the parking for the mid of next year. But this is a necessary goal. If I don’t have any specific goal, I will not be able to achieve anything, based on Goal Setting Theory.
So, I’ll risk embarrassment and ridicule. That’s fine, as long as eventually I can achieve this goal. That is another commitment.
Other than that, life has come to a long plateau. This is a blessing rather than a curse. Well, that’s at least how I want to and should view it. There are small achievements here and there–reasons to be thankful all the time. There is a great sense of achievement about what I have been doing in the church, i.e. my KTB cell group. “The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever.”

After all the troubles

1 August 2008

Now, I am loaded with a billion things to do, yet I decide to write a blog entry. That’s a typical Agus.
After the excitement of getting my first article published by a newspaper, when the second one is published, the excitement seemingly has evaporated. The same applies, I think, after getting my first translation published or my first presentation for an academic conference. The joy of doing those things has gone. Nevertheless, we know that all those things are not done for the sake of joy alone. We do those things because they are our legacy and for me, my small steps of acquiring a professorship. That seems like a million steps away from where I am standing now. Nevertheless, please have a look at the article through this link:
After nearly one year at the Embassy (next month marks my one year tenure at the Embassy), I am actually quite bored with what I have to do daily. Of course, the biggest joy of working there is the increasing salary! But probably, I will need to browse around and look for other great opportunities with greater income.
Speaking about opportunities, I just declined an offer to teach for Binus. The Head of the Department herself contacted me and offered me a position. But after all the trouble of visiting the campus and sitting for the test, I just lost interest in teaching there. The chemistry wasn’t there. Hahahaha.
However, another opportunity arises. Suddenly, Prof Pillay from QUT offered me to be his partner in a research he is going to conduct here in Indonesia. We are currently preparing a proposal for AusAID funding. Now, this is something really new. I’ve never done it in my entire lifetime. I do hope that everything will be fine and we will be able to secure the funding. About doing the actual research, well, we don’t need to worry now. That’s for the future worry.
I have been enjoying about a month and a half of not coming to the seminary. It’s relaxing actually. I hope next trimester will be lighter than the first one. I also hope that my teaching schedule at UI can be reduced by half. I am looking forward for more relaxing time to enjoy in my late 20s. Although that might not happen as I am translating this awesome book by Bill Hybels. It’s so awesome that I can’t really translate it well. Oh, goodness.
Finally, I have one note about a trip to Bandung. After that crappy Bandung trip, at least I learned something about self-fulfilling prophecy theory at the TVET congress. The theory postulates that whatever we believe in ourselves or in other people, that thing—bad or good—will come true. Now that seems a bitfar-fetched for many, but actually there are more than 300 studies in the States that support that theory. So, I now must believe that I will succeed and not fail—I will have what I want. Well, that is not probably going to happen if God is as good as He claims, as Rev. Elisabeth Hasikin said last Sunday, “It’s not what we want that should happen. It’s what God wants that should happen.” So rather than a self-fulfilling prophecy theory, we probably need a God-fulfillingprophecy theory. Well, that’s not a theory actually since God’s prophecy willalways materialize, right? Hopefully, He has designed something splendid for me.

O Czech, O Spain

21 June 2008
Having been troubled for the last two weeks, I think I finally made up my mind. I will turn down the generous scholarship offer to pursue another master degree in the Czech Republic and the Kingdom of Spain. Instead, I will pursue the not-so-certain possibility of pursuing my PhD in Australia again.Will I regret this? I haven’t had anything to regret so far, and I believe, anyway and anyhow, the Lord himself will be my consolation in the years to come.Not long ago, I read a sermon by the Rev. Stanley Tjahjadi when he was ordained as a minister at GKIN. He said, let us not ask, "What if?" Such questions will have no answer and will only lead us to more questions. Rather, be thankful for what we have had so far. He also made a reference to Moses, when he was shepherding his flock in the middle of the dessert and saw the burning bush. Moses could have ignored the burning bush and just did things regularly. Instead, Moses took that irregular action of finding out more about the bush and there he met the Lord himself. Had he not taken that irregular action, the Israelites might have not been set free from Egypt as quickly as it was recorded in Exodus.I felt somehow, the offer to go to Czech and Spain was that call for me to do something irregular, to move out from my comfort zone. Nevertheless, I think when I am resolved to turn down the offer, I should not be intrigued to ask, "What if" and be bitter if someday my life does not turn the way I have planned it previously. That’s a decision and a resolution.

Not bad at all

5 June 2008
I got my IELTS results. Two perfect nines for reading and listening, no mistake whatsoever in the reading and listening sections. Well, that’s not the first time. My writing and speaking? Could be better. But still OK. The overall score is still 8, not bad at all. I did my presentations at Atma Jaya. This time, I got plenty of questions. That’s not good actually, because I presented my paper purely for getting the credit points, not for sharing any research finding. I am a low class academic, not those professional ones who love research above anything else and dream to present paper on academic forums. Nevertheless, I got more attention for my presentation than my first one last year, not bad at all.I have one paper under review, well actually, I have done my revision, for Penabur Education Journal. If it is accepted, this will be my first ever article in a scholarly journal, although not a very prestigious one. But that will do for a first time, not bad.One thing that worries me is now probably the strangely quiet response from UWA and UoW. They haven’t notified me about the result of my PhD applications. Well, but I know for sure that my applications have been accepted and the universities are now in the process of judging the quality of my application. I’ll just leave that with the One who takes care of everything. He knows the best.On the seminary? Rather so-so. Sometimes, I feel I could do more academic challenges than what I have now. But, I suppose, I just need the diploma. On quitting from the chair of the youth ministry? Absolutely a pleasure. I have a great time. I can pursue other things rather than just attending meetings and listening to complaints. On teaching? I might do with longer breaks. It’s quite fun not teaching for some time. On Bali? It’s nice to be back in Bali, although I should say that five star hotel where I was staying was not excellent. People, don’t stay there! But I love the beaches of Seminyak and Jimbaran. I also appreciate the opportunity to catch up with Men, an old time college friend who is now a permanent resident of Kuta. Our ways have gone to separate directions. However, people in all walks of life dream of the same thing–to get something better and that might mean moving on with life in a different place and a different country.On faith? "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." That’s still my favorite quote from the Bible. That still is the cornerstone of my faith. With that faith, I can go forth.

Two books, two tests, a paper, a summary

10 May 2008
Now, it’s almost midnight. I have a million of things to do. But as usual, I want to write something. I am celebrating the fact that I have a book published already. Gloria finally printed my translation of 3:16, the Numbers of Hope. I am not the sole translator for the book, but it is worth celebrating. I have my name on a book! A second book is coming. This time, I am the sole translator. After waiting for 3 years, finally the book is in the final stages of editing and will be printed next month. So, I’ll be waiting for that OMF publication.I have two tests. Well, one has already passed actually. Finally, I took an IELTS test again. Not bad, but not great. I could assess my own score since I have been teaching and marking IELTS at PPB for a very long time. The score will not be great, I suppose, but sufficient to enter a university. And, boy, the waiting for the speaking test took three hours. Hopefully, I don’t have to sit for IELTS ever again. On Tuesday, I’ll have a pastoral theology test. Frankly, I haven’t learned and probably will not have time to learn.My paper about the four belalang at the Book of Joel has been accepted by Atma Jaya. Next Monday is the presentation time. I have not been able to write the presentation up to now. Tomorrow has to be the date for the writing.My summary, which is very long, is also due next Monday. It’s a very torturing exercise for me. I can’t believe to obtain a master degree, we still need to write summaries and not literature review. What a difference of studying overseas and studying in Indonesia. Finally, after my second visit to Jayapura, Indonesia is still a very beautiful country. The green islands, blue seas, and white sandy beaches still capture my heart in awe. It’s a pity that such a rich country should languish in poverty. It is true then, I think, our task as a church is not only to satisfy people’s hunger for heavenly bread, but also the actual people’s hunger for earthly bread. That’s why our theology should be fitted with our own context in Indonesia and should not just be simple imports from the West. Well, my first steps of being an ecumenical-mainstream-Indonesian theologian, I suppose.

After, Before and While

13 April 2008
This entry is written after I resigned from the Chair position at my Youth Commission, one day before my enrollment at the seminary and while having a pile of things to do.
On resigning, I feel a mix of both happiness and sadness. Happy because eventually I don’t have to be bothered with the issues of the organisation anymore. I don’t have to sit for hours in a meeting, while my thought flies outside the room. I can be more relaxed and finally do things that I have never had the chance to accomplish. Sad because for the last two years I have been a person that people depend upon and the commission have kept me busy. My entire 20-something has always been associated with the commission. I will miss the friendship and the activities. Nevertheless, I am truly thankful for the Lord’s guidance during my term in the office and for the people that have been working together in the ministry.
On commencing theological studies, I have a billion doubts in my heart. Will I finish this study? Can I manage my time? Is it really the right thing to do? Am I fulfilling my oath that I made years ago to study theology when I have a steady job? Is this the right seminary? What will I do when I become too tired to study? What will I do if I don’t find the study interesting? What if suddenly I get a scholarship for my PhD? But despite the questions, I strongly believe that I should make the most of my time. I should study theology because I believe I want to serve the Lord with greater capacity and this study is a sign of obedience and my preparedness to fulfill my oath rather than anything else. I will be able to say to the Lord, I obey You and I do as what I promised You.
On having a pile of things to do, well, reading this blog of mine is like reading a journal of my own reflections and belief, so it is because I am busy, confused, relieved, insecure, happy, and sad at the same time, I need to write. In the future, I will be reminded of what happens today. So, to list a bit of my pile of things: designing a PhD research proposal, coming up with a draft for my referee, writing a paper for KOLITA 6 (my paper is accepted), arranging a final report for Easter celebration, typing the PIK book, contemplating on translating a 500 page document and reading more books. Gosh!
This week also, I was contemplating on moving to Penabur. Either as the vice-principal of its International School or the Head of Education. But my sister asked me a very pivotal question, "WIll you enjoy more administrative work?" Well, the answer is clearly, "No." Yeah, I think I will still enjoy teaching at tertiary level and I always dream to be a professor anyway, not a school administrator. So, it’s all settled. Should I quit from the Embassy, I will return teaching.
My favourite verse for this week is: "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." (Psalm 145:8-9). According to Dr. Rebbecca Young, this verse summarizes what Calvin believes about God’s character and this verse is the perfect summary of what we Christians can know about God. Have I any reason to doubt Him? Probably, I am already predestined to study theology, as Rev Dr J S Aritonang told us.

Another happy day

10 March 2008
My first ever newspaper article was published two days ago!This is a huge achievement. I tried to write for a newspaper two years ago with failure.Last week, I tried again to write and this time, it’s successful.Please find the link: http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2008/03/07/education-not-just-about-budget.htmlI’d be happy to hear people’s comment as well for this first piece of writing.Anyway, there are always first time for everything and the joy of experiencing "first time" something is always nice.

Jakarta’s Museums

26 March 2008
One of the things that I loved in Australia was visiting museums. I think museums enrich my knowledge and make me more civilised. I enjoyed tremendously visiting the Art Gallery of NSW and Victorian Art Gallery (well, they are not museums, but they do house a lot of artifacts) and I found the Museum of Sydney and National Museum of Australia in Canberra interesting. Since coming back to this City, I have not really been able to visit Jakarta’s museums. As a child, I only visited the museums in Taman Mini. I know there are more museums in Jakarta than those at Taman Mini. Moreover, I heard that Jakarta’s museums were neglected.Beginning this year, I have visited some museums. Finally, I have the time to go around and enjoy the City’s museums. Of course, everyone that I shared the story with would comment, "Why do you go to a Museum?" "Don’t you have better things to do?"Last weekend, my friends and I went to Museum Bank Mandiri, Museum Wayang and Museum Fatahilah. Thanks to the arrangement from Retno and the nice company of Astrid and Harun, I had good time in Jakarta’s Old City. I had to say that I really enjoyed visiting Museum Bank Mandiri. It’s such a nice Museum. The Museum Nasional, fondly called Museum Gajah, was also beautiful. I can’t imagine that Jakarta actually has some really interesting museums comparable to those overseas in terms of collection richness. But once you talk about the cleanliness and the management, of course, Jakarta’s Museums are in shambles. After wondering around Jakarta’s Old City, we then went to have Lo Cu Pan in Glodok. That’s amazingly delicious. I also found bakso goreng, just like the ones at Bakmi Pinangsia in Kingsford. Furthermore, after probably 10 years, I finally rode on an M 12, the mikrolet that I used to take during Junior High School years. Goodness! It was like a lifetime ago. And you know what, it was not expensive at all. The museums’ tickets are just so cheap and thanks to Busway that stops at Halimun, going places become much easier particularly during holidays that make Jakarta empty.I think our culture that centers around shopping malls should be changed. We should center our activity around more cultured buildings like museums, art galleries, and cheap eating stalls with superb food.